Almost Like a Romcom
by Gingernyan
Summary: It has been around a year since the kids beat Sburb, and the trolls have come to Earth (or whatever planet that they will end up living on) in attempt to live the rest of their lives. Little do some of the know what great changes will occur that will change their life forever. (Johnkat with some black Davekat, as well as slight Rosemary... maybe some other ships later...)
1. Ten Things I Hate About You

Almost Like a Romcom

**AN: Hey there~. My old Johnkat fanfiction REALLY SUCKED, oh gog, it hurts to look at it now. _' So now that I actually can write, I'm going to try again… **

**Also, you should know that this fanfiction takes place 6 months after the game ended and now all the humans (alpha and beta) as well as the trolls are on Earth (or a new planet, I don't really know)… Also, each of the trolls have their own house unless they live together~ Rated M for language and other suggestive topics such as self-harm, suicide, abuse and maybe some lemons later on? We'll see ;) But I'm best at writing fluff sooooo… yeah!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HOMESTUCK OR THE CHARACTERS, THEY ALL BELONG TO ANDREW HUSSIE!**

**Chapter 1: Ten Things I Hate About You**

A troll, dressed in a black turtle neck bearing the zodiac symbol for cancer paced around in his living room, cursing under his breath. His stopped walking for a moment to turn and look at the foot of his couch. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS MY APPARENTLY DETORATING THINK PAN TRYING TO PULL?" Karkat commented on his huge stack of pillows he had thrown on the floor. He had no idea was he was thinking by doing that, there was absolutely no reason for it. Comfort? The couch was right there, idiot and it was just as plump as a puppet rump. And no, it wasn't that the pillows weren't plush, they were just too plush. A large pile of pillows wasn't exactly the most casual thing to sit in anyway. Karkat, fed up with his idiocy, decided to just stop his mumbling and put away the damn pillows. As he bent down to gather the multitudes of fluff filled sacks, a knock echoed from his front door, "OH FUCK." Karkat stood up, leaving the pillows that were doomed to remain by the couch and grudgingly, he turned the knob to his door.

On the other side of the now agape door, stood a human boy with quite the animated expression stamped across his face. "OH MY GOG, JOHN. DID YOU SERIOUSLY HAVE TO WAIT FOR ME OUTSIDE MY DOOR WITH THAT INCREDIBLY STUPID EXPRESSION? COULDN'T YOU AT LEAST ACT NORMAL?"

"i am acting normal karkat! you're supposed to be happy when you go to a bro's house!" John smiled and held up a plastic bag from a grocery store. "plus i brought movies!"

"I CAN SEE THAT."

"so… are you going to let me inside?" John attempted to peek around Karkat's shoulder.

"IF YOU INSISIT," Karkat stepped aside in order to let John inside. The human giggled as he enter, and immediately let his gaze fall to the pillow mound on the floor.

"heh, karkat? what's this for?"

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. I JUST THREW A SHITLOAD OF PILLOWS ON THE GROUND."

"really? you're so silly karkat~"

"YOU ARE WEIRD, EGBERT."

"so are you, vantas." John grins and Karkat sighs at this, but then John quickly plops down into the pillows. "mmm, it's really fluffy and comfy!"

"WELL THEY ARE PILLOWS DUMBY, THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SOFT." Karkat said as he continued to stand, looking down at the human. John then patted the space next to him.

"come on karkat, you sit down too!" John beckoned him and sighing, Karkat sat down on the other side of the pile. John kept smiling and shoved his hand into the bag, pulling out a DVD case. "i brought con air!" John cooed, holding his favorite movie in front of Karkat.

"NO. JOHN. I AM NOT WATCHING THAT MOVIE. NOT EVER."

"aw, come on karkat! please? for me?"

"WHY WOULD I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU?"

"because we're bros!"

"DON'T CALL US BROS."

"then what else am I supposed to call us?"

"ACQUAINTANCES."

"aw, karkat, we're friends!"

"UGH, WHATEVER."

"so can we watch the movie? you haven't even seen it yet, so you can't say it's bad!"

"FINE. I'LL WATCH YOU'RE AWFUL HUMAN MOVIE," Karkat crossed his arms and leaned back into the pillows.

"yay!" John giggled once again and proceeded to set up the movie. Once the DVD was ready, John scooted back onto the pillows. "now be sure to pay good attention to the best movie you'll ever see!"

"OH, I'M SURE THIS MOVIE OUT DOES EVER OTHER FILM EVER CREATED BY HUMAN OR TROLL KIND."

"it is!"

"JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME WATCH IF YOU WANT ME TO WATCH."

"heh, oh alright!" The human quieted down as the picture began. Karkat was immediately uninterested in Con Air. The movie was not his style at all and he didn't care for the action flick in anyway. However, John seemed extremely intrigued into what was his favorite movie. The troll sighed and hunched over, resting his cheek on his fist.

"HOW LONG IS THIS TRAINWRECK IDEA OF A FILM?"

"it's only two hours, now shh!"

"UGH…" Karkat groaned and slumped back, staring at the ceiling.

More than half through the movie, Karkat turned to stare at John now who was sitting comfortably snuggled in the pillows, eyes glued to the TV. The boy was so easily excited, the movie clearly sucked and even though he knew it himself, John insisted on calling it his favorite movie. As Karkat glared at his "friend" his eyes wandered to his huge smiled across his face. His buck teeth just added to the overall dorkiness of his dumb grin. God, he was such an oblivious idiot. It hurt to look at the Heir of Breath. The troll hated him so much… so so much… right? Then why, for the love of God, did he invite this injudicious fool to his hive to watch movies? It wasn't because they were friends, because they were definitely not. It wasn't because he wanted to spend time for this human he actually cared for, because there was no way in hell that was true, right?


	2. Dear John

**AN: Okay, chapter two… I think this one is written a bit better than the first chapter, since I'm getting a bit better at writing as Karkat… well, here I go again!**

**Chapter 2: Dear John**

The movie continued to drag on, and on. It seemed as if the horrible, cliché, accident of an attempt at a moving picture would never end. It had been an hour and a half so far and the grumpy, impatient troll could take no more of this internal suffering he had been enduring for what seemed like an eternity. Karkat refused to look at the screen for more than a minute at a time, thus was continually moving about, restlessly. However, the human did not make a move the whole time other than to shush his troll friend for causing such as ruckus. John was clearly entranced in his favorite movie, and although Karkat could not even comprehend why he or anyone could appreciate Con Air in anyway; he sucked it up. Karkat hoped once they finished this shit-fest, they could proceed to watch a movie worth his while. This had literally been the most boring moment of his entire, worthless, self-shriveling life. Even the three years on the meteor had been more exciting than this waste of time.

After what seemed like an eternity, the film approached the final scene. Sensing Karkat's restlessness, John leaned over to whisper, "don't worry, it's almost over!" As he heard this, a breath of relief fled from the troll's protein chute. "THANK GOD," he sighed. John was instantaneously sucked back into Con Air, as his favorite scene carried on. He suddenly began to hum along to what happened to be the music playing in the background of this particular scene. As grumpy as he was at the moment, Karkat looked over at the humming John with a look of interest. He really did like this movie, enough to memorize the music in it. Karkat honestly could not see how John could find anything particularly intriguing about the film. Luckily for the troll, it was coming to a close. After the concluding few minutes, the credits finally rolled down the screen. "FINALLY!" Karkat groaned and stretched out his arms, "THE HORDENUS, THINK PAN MELTING TORTURE IS OVER!"

"Oh come on karkat, it wasn't that that bad, was it?" John giggled, cracked his neck, and looked over at Karkat.

"IT WAS ABSOLUTELY AWFUL. MY GANDER BULBS AND AURICULAR SPONGE CLOTS ARE STILL BURNING FROM THAT REPULSIVE EXCUSE FOR CINEMATOGRAPHY. IF I HAD A HUMAN STOMACH, I WOULD BE PUKEING ALL OVER THE FLOORBOARDS AT THIS PARTICULAR INSTANT. " Karkat crossed his arms, pretty fed up at the moment.

"Seriously karkat, it wasn't that bad!"

"IT WAS GUT RENCHINGLY APPALLING."

"Stop being such a whiny grump!" John chuckled and playfully punched Karkat's shoulder who grunted in response. "Now, if you want, we can watch one of your movies. Just, don't pick anything too romantic and boring!" Karkat was already flipping through his movie pile within a heartbeat. Of course he was thrilled to be free from the constraining hold of John's action films.

"YOU MADE ME SIT THROUGH THAT BULGEHUMPING ALMIGHTY PILE OF TRASH, SO WHY SHOULDN'T I MAKE YOU DO THE SAME? EVEN THOUGH I BELIEVE MY MOVIE OUT DO YOURS IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY." John pouted and Karkat flipped through a few more cases until picking out a movie that could hopefully piss John off substantially. The troll scuttled to the TV where he replaced Con Air with his troll romcom. The candy red blood returned to his spot on the pillows as h he clicked play.

"Tell me when it's over, k?" John lay back in the pillows, closing his eyes and removing his glasses, prepared to take nap during the length of the movie.

"OH MY GOD, I HATE YOU! JOHN, YOU ARE SUCH A DOUCHEBAGGING PUNGENT SEEDFLAP! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU EGBERT! I WASTED TWO HOURS OF MY LIFE THAT COULD'VE BEEN USED DOING SOMTETHING USEFUL, BUT INSTEAD I WATCHED SOME STUPID NIC CAGE FILM, FOR YOU OF ALL PEOPLE!" k Karkat crossed his arms looking down at the half-asleep boy, growling under his rant.

"Heh, for me huh?" John chuckled, his eyes still closed. "Well, I'm happy you sat through my movie, but I'm actually really tired. I didn't really sleep well last night. I'm sorry Karkat, we can do something together after I sleep for a bit, okay?" And with that, the heir of breatath drifted off.

"HE'S THAT TIRED? THE FUCKASS…" Karkat trailed off his mumbling to himself as he stared at John who was already fast asleep. "WHAT'S THE POINT OF HIM EVEN BEING HERE IF HE'S JUST GOING TO SLEEP?" Thus again, the thoughts flooded Karkat. He wanted John here, right? That's why he invited the douchemuffin in the first place, right? They were friends, so, friends hang out with each other, right? Or, did he just want to… be with John? Of course not, that was such a senseless idea. Why would he ever want to do anything with that idiotic human just to be by his side? That was… such… such a dumb proposition, right? It had to be. He just needed a movie watching partner. However, he had never needed one before. Karkat shook his head violently. Why did he keep questioning his motives with John? God, he needed a break. He couldn't even watch his romcomm. The troll stood up and sat on the couch behind the pillow mound. He then noticed the plastic bag John had brought Con Air in, which he had noticed to still not be empty. Reaching in, Karkat ended up pulling out a CD in a case which had the words, To Karkat, scrawled out in sharpie. "TO… ME?" Karkat took the CD into his respite block and slipped it into the disk drive on his husktop. It seemed that a collection of audio files entitled different names were saved on the disk. Clicking the first one, Showtime, Karkat plugged in his headphones to listen. It was a piano. John played the piano, right. He had forgotten n this little detail. That matter beside, the human was incredibly talented when it came to this. Karkat was soon intrigued and listened to the songs one after another. Eventually reaching the final file and the end of that particular song, John began to speak.

"So, uh, hi Karkat! If you're listening to this at all and not just throwing it away, that is." John chuckled then continued, "you probably think this is stupid but I thought I should give you a present for being my friend or something, even though I know you hate me. I didn't really know what to give you since I'm not really good at many things that can be made into gifts, but I guessed this was good enough! Um, I was planning to tell you some other stuff too, heh, but I feel I've gone on for long enough now. So, thanks for listening Kar! Love ya! No homo though!"

"NO HOMO MY ASS," Karkat couldn't help but smirk at John's gesture. Was this why he was so tired? He was up all night recording music and putting it on this CD for Karkat? That imbecile, why did he tire himself with such a mundane task? Karkat pulled out his headphones right before noticing it had been an hour since he started listening to the music and hopped up from his seat to return to John. To no surprise, the human was awake again.

"Oh, hey Karkat, you're back!" John grinned, sitting up.

"YES, I HAVE RETURNED TO YOU FINALLY WAKING UP. THE MOVIE'S S ALMOST OVER ANYWAY."

"Where were you?"

"I FOUND YOUR CD."

"Oh! Uh, I wasn't actually going to give that to you heh…. Oh well."

"YOU WEREN'T? WHY NOT?" Karkat sat back down.

"It was really stupid; I don't know why I thought you'd like it. I mean n it was-"

"I LIKED IT ACTUALLY. IT WAS INCREDIBLY STUPID, BUT I ENJOYED IT."

"Really? Thanks…"

"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT TO MAKE IT THOUGH."

"Karkat… this is so strange…"

"WHAT? WHY?"

"You're acting so nice!"

"I-I AM NOT BEING NICE!"

"Yes you are! You're happy I made you a present aren't you! You think of us as friends, don't you!"

"OF COURSE I DO STUPID. WHAT MADE YOU THINK I DIDN'T?"

"You actually acknowledged our friendship, wow!"

"YOU ARE TREATING ME LIKE I'M DUMBER THAN YOU, STOP."

"Haha! Okay Karkat, sorry dude! Haha!"

"WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!? NOTHING IS FUNNY!"

"Okay, okay, okay… phew."

"YOU ARE SO STRANGE. YOU AND ALL YOUR 'LAUGHYNESS' AND PRRANKING AND 'NO HOMO' SHENANIGANS. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT ANYWAY? SAYING 'love ya!' DOESN'T EXACTLY SOUND NO HOMO TO BE, EGBERT."

"That's what human friends do! We're bros!"

"SO, IF I WALKED UP TO DAVE RIGHT NOW AND TOLD HIM I LOVED H HIM, HE DEFINITELY WOULDN'T SUSPECT ANYTHING, AT ALL."

"Well… that's different!"

"HOW SO?"

"Uh… um... in some way it is!"

"GOD JOHN, I'M ALREADY HAVING CONFUSED FEELINGS ABOUT YOU, DON'T CONFUSE ME MORE!" As Karkat said this, John stopped.

"What? Feelings about me? You're not doing this hate love thing again right? I don't hate you Karkat and-"

"FUCK… I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THAT. BUT… NO. I-I GUESS I DON'T'T REALLY HATE YOU SO DON'T WORRY YOUR TINY THINKPAN O-OVER THAT." Karkat looked away, he had pretty much just thrown himself into a ditch without even knowing what these supposed confusing feelings meant himself.

"Then, what did you mean? Do you…"

"NO! NO WAY! NEVER! WELL… AH FUCK…"

**AN: Oh hohoho! I cannot wait for the next chapter~ ;) **


End file.
